Being British, Being Indian
Most things I write can be smashed out within a day or two because they’re fairly short and snappy (mainly because our attention span has been brought down to that of a Goldfish). This one however is a bit longer than usual as it’s a deeply complex subject, not only me, but everyone else who can relate. Just want to add that a lot of what I say here is from my personal perspective, observations and experiences. This isn’t a knock on the culture neither am I trying to put the Indian community on blast, but more to get you all thinking introspectively about our culture and what it truly means to be a ‘British Indian’. Everyone I’ve spoken to about this has a unique perspective, there’s no one right way to be a British Indian and I think that’s what we should start understanding.
Indian- A native or inhabitant of India, or a person of Indian descent.
So what does it mean to be ‘Indian’ in the western world to me. Am I from India? No. Are my parents? No, they were born in Uganda which adds another layer of complexity. Are my Grandparents? Yes. So in that case, I would class myself as a third gen Indian but a first gen British Indian. In my mind it’s blurred what I should answer when someone asks me where I am from or what I am. That feeling I assume, is mutual with many of you reading this. Firstly, what’s the difference between Ethnicity, Culture and Race?
1. Race- Based on physical and biological traits
E.g. White/Asian/Black.
2. Ethnicity- the fact or state of belonging to a social group that has a common national or cultural tradition.
E.g. I’m South Asian but my ethnicity is Gujarati. I’m white but ethnicity/nationality is French.
3. Culture- Things and behaviours you’re taught by other humans about your ethnicity. These can often lead to stereotypes.
E.g. Cooking, Clothing, only marrying within your community/religion, putting food in Yoghurt boxes to freeze.
Being Indian
There is a lot to unpack here so I’ll try my best. Me and many of you are the first generation of British Indians this country has ever seen. Remarkable when you think about it, we are the first generation of people who have been born here in the UK, that are brown and have British passports.
Trying to connect with my Indian roots and culture has always been a slight struggle for me. My parents tried, boy did they try (see below). They would dress me up, make me watch Bollywood films, they would even send me to Gujarati class when I was younger after school. Gujarati (for those who don’t know) is an ethnicity and type of Indian person who’s root origins are from the Gujarat region of India. At this class, they would teach reading, writing and speaking of the language as well as cultural lessons too. There was no interest at all from me as a kid, I would fall asleep in the class almost instantly. So as much as mine and many other parents probably tried, wider society trends are more influential on children than home. It’s been a regret of mine because it’s meant my communication with my grandparents could have been so much more fluid and richer as they don’t speak English very well. My broken Gujarati even needs assistance from others sometimes which makes me feel slightly like a moron.
The trouble I encountered growing up was thinking my lifestyle and interests of Street Fashion, Hip-Hop, and Urban culture didn’t really mix with an Indian background (Indians aren’t known for their swag unfortunately). Being alternative always appealed to me because why would I want to be like everyone else? I’d get statements thrown at me like “You’re really cool for an Indian guy you know” or “Most lndian guys ain’t like you”. I would revel in those kinds of comparisons and compliments when I was younger, yet they led me to begin thinking- if you hold me in such high regard as an Indian guy, what must you think of the other guys/girls who aren’t quote on quote, as “cool” as me. The trophy of being regarded as an Indian guy who listens to good music, has the freshest clothes and latest kicks, began to erode away into a stark realisation. I’ve been subliminally suppressing my Indian culture in order to gain recognition from within other social groups. Trying to find an answer as to why this happened is difficult but for me being Indian growing up never had positive connotations in society. It was never cool or hip to be Indian and still to this day is misrepresented in a lot of areas, and in some cases even mocked/not taken seriously.
Example 1: When you’re in a club or bar (if you remember what they are) and THAT Punjabi MC tune has come on, we all know which one. Everybody starts busting out lightbulbs and shit Bhangra moves (I’m not any better actually so I shouldn’t talk). Throughout my life I’ve seen many people dancing around to that tune and there are expressions that appear on these faces that make me cringe. I compare it with a Latin song like Despacito, or an Afro beat track from WizKid and it’s different. Most people don’t understand Spanish or Yoruba but for some reason an Indian Bhangra tune has this comedic affect, that almost entices people to take the piss out of it. I can’t tell you the amount of times non-Asian people have come up to me at a bar/club, and asked me to “Do the pat the dog and lightbulbs” for them like some jester. It’s quite dehumanising to me, it resembles a sort of mocking of the culture and music. If we’re not acquainted like that please do not say that to me or any other brown person because you will get straight aggro.
Example 2: The racist bullying of Shilpa Shetty in Celebrity Big Brother (2007). Those who live in the UK will remember this vividly and I think this was quite a pivotal moment for me. It was the first time that I saw the racist underbelly of Britain revealed on a mainstream level towards Indians, seeing it on live TV accompanied with laughter was disturbing. The incident definitely altered the way I believed Indian people were viewed and respected in British society. I won’t go into this in detail I’ve left a link here and here for reference. How the producers of the show let it carry on without any repercussions is beyond me. That is until the shit hit the fan and word reached aunties all over the UK. Don’t mess with Indian aunties, they got superpowers when it comes to complaining.
Example 3: How can we forget what I like to call- The Summer of the Bindi, where many females were going round to festivals, nights out or raves with Bindi’s on their foreheads a few years back. I think it was Selena Gomez who started that trend, I’m still wondering who the hell listens to this girl’s music never mind her fashion trends. Once again for those who don’t know, a Bindi is what you usually see an Indian woman wear on her forehead whilst wearing traditional Indian clothing. I’m pretty sure most of the people who jumped on this fad had no intention of researching what a Bindi was, what it represents and how it can be portrayed to other Indians. Same way if someone else puts it on it’s seen as “exotic” and “fashionable” but if an Indian does its “odd, weird, backwards”. Countless girls have probably grown up being ridiculed for having coconut oil in their hair, thick eyebrows/lips or henna on their arms. Irony of course being this is what so many women desire and practice now in an effort to fit in with others.
When we think about Indian representation within the arts, radio, TV, media, music, fashion, sport and popular culture it’s extremely under represented and in some even non-existent. I hear some people tell me they have their own radio stations and TV channels. Indian inclusivity is not just creating a radio/TV station for them and only boxing them into that forever. What if they wanted to be on Radio 1? What if they wanted to become a footballer? What if they want to be a fashion designer? And where did Jay Sean go? Some of that stems from structural racism and the colonial superiority complex, however as Indians, do we even do enough to push that agenda to be more visible and represented?
I compare Indian culture to African culture over the last decade in this aspect (in the UK in particular). Similarly to the Indian culture it was a bit of a struggle to be African growing up for some of my friends. Fast forward to today and the growth of this culture in the UK and beyond has been exponential. Now everyone wants a Nigeria shirt, everyone wants to go Afro Nation, everyone wants to eat Jollof Rice. Relations between Ghanians and Nigerians are stable with a lot more dialogue between each other. African professionals within the arts, music and fashion are starting to get recognition, exposure and opportunities in a lot of creative industries. These are opportunities they perhaps didn’t have before, much work I’m sure is still to be done, but they have now found a base for the next generation of British Africans to aspire to and build on.
If we compare it to Indian culture we have not bridged this gap, we’re still boxed into the rigid structures from elder generations. Indian’s have a strong drive to make money which can turn into an obsession too. For a lot of people the sad thing is, that’s what defines them and everyone they meet. We only promote each other unless it suits our own agenda or pocket, we only speak up on injustices unless it effects us personally not collectively. Take the Farmer’s protest in India as an example, reportedly the largest protest in human history and the media coverage is scarce on it. Which goes back to my original point, how are we being seen by other people in society and portrayed in the media? Are Indian problems just not deemed important enough to be told on mainstream media outlets? Do we not care because it’s happening in India and not here? The chatter about it between Indian communities is minimal too. To put it simply- our empathy only seems to reach out as far as we think it should, not where it should and where it’s needed. A lot of my friends and now even some family members are actually Punjabi so if it affects them it affects me too, the very least you can do is understand it and just show any sort of support via messages, posting or phone calls. We don’t champion each other enough and still divide ourselves on religious, social and ethnicity lines. We don’t encourage creativity, risks and outside of the norm thinking enough to progress the culture onto the next level here in the western world. Until that begins to change we’ll be going in circles.
Most Indians generally abide to the pathway laid out by our parents which is- go school, get good grades, go university, study strong subjects (IT, Maths, Engineering), get a good paying job, find a wife, get married, buy a house, have kids and so on. If you deviate away from this structure of life it leads to many questions about your well-being and your future. It starts at home, too many Indian and South Asian kids are growing up timid and afraid to express their emotions, feelings and ambitions not only to others but also to their parents. Leading to a complex mental persona of almost leading two lives, one which is deemed acceptable by the culture e.g. your job, finances, caste and social standing. The second is the real you, the one you want to be but can’t due to backlash from family and community members. It’s actually one of the reasons I distanced myself as a young adult and youth from my own community. I didn’t want to be influenced by any of these factors and preferred to find my own route into the things I’m passionate about today.
Indians don’t embrace change well either and are seen as having quite a conformist and obedient culture still, especially when it comes to women. Which has been ingrained from centuries of traditions within India where women are often seen as submissive and passive members of society who’s only real purpose is to cook, clean, stay at home, look beautiful and give babies (not exclusive to Indian culture I might add). Therefore, it’s no surprise South Asian girls/women are bottom by race in self esteem studies within the general Female populous. Within the Western world that’s changing though and women are beginning to reject these pre-conceived notions. You can’t underestimate the impact of films like Bend It Like Beckham and TV shows like Goodness Gracious Me had on Indian girls growing up, they showed strong female Indian actresses and leads on British TV’s for the first time in my generation. Indian females are now showing independence and their reliance on men is slowly diminishing. In all honesty, this intimidates a lot of Indian men (even guys my age) because they can’t understand that concept, especially if they have been brought up with the values I spoke about above via their household environments. It tends to lead many men and women seeking alternative dating options outside their race and ethnicity, can you blame them? Arranged marriages are still a reality for many people too. This happens in more stricter and traditional families that have migrated directly from India.
Thankfully my family have never been like that, with many of my cousins already breaking the barrier of pursuing “non-Indian jobs”, marrying outside of the Gujarati/Hindu community, and in some cases even completely different races and religions. Even the idea of getting married within your 20’s is being eroded away, more British Indians like myself are not forcing marriage too early and focusing on themselves first. The fast nature of social interaction and dating is now leading to higher divorce rates within the UK aswell. Indian culture is not perfect by any means, many aspects I would like to take with me and pass onto my kids one day but some of the aforementioned I just can’t get on board with and never will.
Being British
I have a strange love hate relationship with my British heritage that I’m trying to grasp control of. Being British along with Indian heritage adds a highly sensitive layer to my identity. Growing up in Ilford (which is basically the East London version of Hounslow), there was a big melting pot of so many different ethnicities, races and cultures. In so doing it meant my friends were all ethnic minorities like me with no pure white British friends.
When I was a teenager I was at the park playing football, and got told to take off my England football shirt because I’m apparently ‘not English’ by a group of white kids. This effected me more than I thought. As an avid football fan I don’t really support England in sporting tournaments anymore, I realised some time ago it was because of that. It’s quite sad that as a grown man I still hold some resentment towards my own country/nationality based on one isolated incident. Not dealing with it is probably the biggest fail of that whole situation. Instead I just went home, internalised it and locked it away. Those feelings end up evolving into character flaws like fear of rejection and even led to having a certain level distrust for white British people.
I do feel British sometimes, being British to me is all about inclusion. I still love going to the football, I enjoy reading English Literature, I pride myself in my dry sarcastic humour as many of you know. Those are the aspects of British culture that I try to identify with the most, but there is another side of this relationship that will unfortunately always be apart of me and anyone else who is Indian…
Once upon a time, India didn’t know what cricket was and just lived life in India in a fairly mundane manner. The British Empire took over in the 1800’s and exploited India for spices, textiles and jewels. This included an absolute fatty of a diamond (Koh-i-Noor) which was “handed over” to the British Empire, it’s now apart of the Queen’s crown jewels (just an FYI). I started a deep dive into the British Empire and how it ruled over India until 1947 when India finally gained independence. There was a certain gargantuan event that arose out of that independence from the British rule- Partition. An event which astronomically screwed up India in many ways, one of the worst being socially. In short, this was the dividing of the country into three parts: One part being India, one part being Pakistan and one part being Bangladesh (formerly East Pakistan).
The remnants of Partition are still being felt around the world by Indian people to this day. Not just India either, I mean globally for Indians around the world because I’m not going to sugarcoat anything. There is still a disdain from Muslims to Hindus and Hindus toward Muslims and also with Sikhs and visa versa. Rarely do you see Indians, Bengalis and Pakistanis integrating with each other here in the western world. Much of that stems from the British Empire’s inept handling of this crisis (sounds oddly familiar in present day doesn’t it). These religiously drawn lines orchestrated by the British, left over one million people dead, millions more homeless and created a void of resentment between all three religions. I’ve read the books, spoken to some people and watched a lot of documentaries on Partition, the words: vile, inhumane and harrowing come to mind. All sides- Hindus, Sikhs and Muslims committing absolute fuckeries on one another (excuse my French). People who had known each other for years in the same community, went school together, traded off one another, send gifts on religious festivals, were now over the course of three months turned into deadly mortal enemies. Businesses destroyed, homes decimated and livelihoods eradicated by the drawing of a line. I believe they call it Divide and Conquer or in this case- divide and leave them helpless to figure it out. One of the worst effected regions of this was Punjab because it bordered the newly formed Pakistan. The borderline was drawn (ever so smartly) right through the region causing a mass migration across the border, it meant hundreds of thousands died either from disease, malnutrition or being murdered by people from opposing religions.
The Partition brutalities are uncomfortable to describe. Pregnant women had their breasts cut off and babies hacked out of their bellies; babies were found literally roasted on spits. Women jumped into wells to avoid rape, parents killed their own children to stop others from murdering them. Train carriages arrived in destination platforms full of dead human carcasses. I didn’t want to write the specifics about the barbarity of it, but I think it’s needed to help you gain an understanding of the traumas that this elder generation of Indians went through. Many were then brought here to the UK from India to help rebuild the UK (more irony) after the war. Some of these people were middle class, working class families/individuals who were highly educated, with qualifications in many fields in their own communities in India, but then got thrown into deprived melting pot areas all over the UK with survival being the only goal. Community is the base of survival for humans so I guess it’s not a real surprise that Indians banded together and don’t mix and integrate with others. Although my family didn’t come directly from India and came from Uganda and Kenya, we’ve managed to flourish and thrive in this country with many others. It’s easy to forget that everything I am today is because of that and being British, but the history of it all still leaves a sour taste in my mouth. What can I say other than it’s my generations job to ensure nothing like that ever happens again. These wounds unfortunately aren’t repairable for the elder generation and many don’t like to speak about it, even now. My hope is that mine can begin to heal some of that by being more progressive on the matter. Just at the very least stop the prejudice towards each other and a judge a person on the merits of their character not their religion. People speak about differences and look toward superficial things but not the fundamental ones because in all honesty, there aren’t many. Not asking for people to start getting married or anything so chill. However, I believe all sides for the most part aren’t educated enough to understand each other’s cultural or religious differences to pass general judgments, and that might make you feel a certain way and if it does, you need to ask yourself why. To create a cultural mindset shift on a macro level for 1 billion + people will take eons. Instead, we should start on a micro level within our own family, friends, workspaces and communities first, then grow from that.
So yes, still British, still Indian, still confused. When you ask me am I British or am I Indian? Sometimes I just don’t know, at times neither make me proud to be associated with them and other times I’m really glad I am. Trying to establish that strong connection with both is not easy for me and I feel like it’s the same for many of you. I’m also careful to not over correct myself because I can’t change certain things about me, in order to be better as an Indian or a Brit. The world’s evolving into a more diverse and global community now and identifying yourself with multiple cultures and ethnicities as I do, is going to be the norm going forward. Moving country definitely helped as the city and country I live in is arguably one of the best places to live in terms of lifestyle and inclusivity in Europe. London, as much as it’s home and I miss it sometimes is just a miserable place to be right now. Does it mean I will l never come home or lose my “Indian-ness” as I grow older? Certainly not, I’m open to a return to London and I’m trying my best to ensure I take the best bits of all my cultural mix and leave the regressive parts behind, so future generations are better equipped to deal with these issues. In addition, learning about the history of my own family in Uganda/Kenya/India has been enlightening. I’d encourage you all do to the same, ask your parents or grandparents, trust me they’ll appreciate it.
Feel free to hit me up and let me know your own experiences of what being British Indian or even British and another ethnic minority have been like. I’d love to hear these stories from all of you and share more of mine. This was only the tip of the iceberg…
Before I forget, here are a couple of donation links below for the Farmers Protest in the motherland, not sure how many there are but I only know of these ones from friends and family. Hopefully there’s a good outcome for them eventually in the new year. #StandWithFarmers.
https://www.khalsaaid.org/news/farmers-protest-2020
Speaking of the new year, I’d love to motivate you all with something profound or inspiring but that’s a bit difficult. Instead, I’ll leave you with a tune which got me through 2020, to be honest, Kaytranada gets me through most years (why it isn’t on Spotify I don’t know).
Happy New Year! Peace and love.
KR
